Well it’s been, what 2 years or so and it’s been good. I’ve had a job for a lil over a year. Granted it’s not my dream job, but it’s a job none the less. My marriage is doing well, so far, and we’ve even add another member to our family. A lil princess. She’s the cutest baby, and so wonderful. I’m hoping now that we have a girl, my husband will show her how a man is suppose to treat a lady. My husband is deployed, again, to some far off place. I really think he’s much more different this time around. It’s like he’s changed for the better, and I’m really happy about it. I can really tell he misses us and wants to come home. I pray that we stay happy and together for many years to come.
Haven’t posted in a while, but things seem to be getting a lil better. Gosh I hope I didn’t just jinxs myself. Things happen in life for a reason, I just wish I knew the reason : / still need a job too
Well some time has pasted and it seems to be getting a bit better. But I still have my guard up. I think I can get through this mess. I just need a lil in push. I really need to get going on the things I wanna do to improve myself. Gotta do it for my sons :)
Well time is going by and it seems to be going ok. But I can’t help but think, is he still talking to her? Is he still seeing her? Does he love her? All this shit is messing with my head and it’s driving me crazy! Maybe my therapist is right. Maybe our marriage won’t last much longer. Maybe it’s better if it doesn’t…
Pin up art by Joyce Ballantyne
I want to look like this
It’s just one of those nights where my mind is just wondering, and thoughts are just flowing like beer. This sucks!
So I’ve been going on interviews for the whole month of feb and I still don’t have a damn job. Instead of them saying, ” hey you got the job!” they say, ” we’ll call you and let you know” I’m wasting gas going back and forth. It’s getting so frustrating and depressing. I JUST WANT A JOB! I want to help support my boys. I want to feel independent. I don’t want to have to rely on someone for money. If there is a job god, help a mommy out will ya?!
these last couple of weeks have not been the gretest. i really think my marriage is not doing so well. i try and be a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my boys. but i guess its not enough for my husband. i just keep asking myself, what did i do to deserve this? what does she has that i dont? does he love her? will he still continue to see her? does he even love me? im depressed. even my own mother noticed that im depressed. i made up a lie, and told her its cause i cant seem to find a job. i just wish, he would understand how im feeling. he has no idea how much something like this hurts. my heart is shattered and i doudt it can be fixed…the sad part is, this is not the first time he’s broken my heart. i just keeping wishing it will be the last. i can only hope. but i have to try and put a happy face on for my boys. they are the only true men i can count on to be there and not brake my heart.